“Warning red, weapons tight…I want everything loaded,” Liam Neeson gravely intones
to a bunch of guys stranded in Alaskan wilderness to his crew. Why? Because a bunch of Transformers from space who are gonna create a huge debris field are coming to Earth in the latest trailer for “Battleship.”
The most explosion-y of the spots yet, this trailer makes the case that Universal really, really wanted to make “Transfomers 4” instead. Focusing heavily on the baddies, which look like their suits were ripped out of “Halo,” these aliens (or whatever) seem hella fierce. In fact, we have no idea how these puny little boats are going to defeat a massive onslaught of high tech weaponry from beyond, but maybe Taylor Kitsch and co. run into Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum on the way. At any rate, this looks pretty terrible, a ludicrous plot coupled with lots of loud noises hoping to distract you from how silly it all seems. And while many have this in the tank for a bomb, sometimes this is all it takes to get audiences to fork over their cash. And unlike “John Carter,” at least people know what a “Battleship” is. Plus, RIHANNA, WOO!
“Battleship” will sink or swim on May 18th, but folks in the U.K. get it more than a month early on April 11th.