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Barbed Wire: ‘Tyler Perry’s Temptation’

Barbed Wire: 'Tyler Perry's Temptation'

Barbed Wire is the place where Criticwire celebrates the art of the pan. Here’s where you’ll find the roughest, toughest, funniest reviews, with easy access links to both article and author so you can follow more of their work.

Tyler Perry’s never been what you would call a “critical darling.” At Rotten Tomatoes, his best score to date is a barely-fresh 62% for 2009’s “I Can Do Bad All By Myself” (pause for irony of the title to sink in, aaaaaand…let’s continue). But even by the standards of Tyler Perry movies, the newest Tyler Perry movie, “Tyler Perry’s Temptation” (colon “Confessions of Marriage Counselor,” at least until the subtitle got ditched at the last minute) is getting really bad reviews. In early going, the film’s pulling a 0% at Rotten Tomatoes — and so far I can’t find a positive review anywhere else either. 

I often find the critical response to Perry’s work as overheated as the auteur’s melodramatic movies. But when even hardcore Perry devotees like Badass Digest’s Evan Saathoff say it’s Perry’s worst film, that’s a mighty bad sign. Here are ten great lines from ten horrible reviews of “Tyler Perry’s Temptation:”

Justin DweeberThe Hollywood Gossip:

“Oh, ‘Tyler Perry’s Temptation,’ where to begin? You were written in a single night, right? On Red Bulls and Adderall?”

Mike RyanHuffington Post:

I have not been this bored in a movie theater since I was 6 years old and saw ‘Ordinary People.'”

Alonso Duralde, TheWrap:

“A 16-ton anvil of subtlety.”

William GossFilm.com:

“Watching [Smollett-Bell] fall for Jones’ character is like watching Maude Flanders leave Ned for Ike Turner, only more tedious.”

Roger MooreMcClatchy Newspapers:

“The ‘Temptation’ of the title is a come-on and a false promise. How ‘tempting’ can a movie about cheating be if it has a PG-13 rating?”

Courtney Howard, Very Aware:

“This film truly made my feminism hurt.”

Jen ChaneyWashington Post:

“The last thing I want to do on Easter weekend is commit the sin of making a bad Biblical pun, especially when Perry has already committed so many cinematic sins in this intelligence-insulting film.”

Frank Scheck, Hollywood Reporter:

“A cautionary tale about adultery that makes ‘Reefer Madness’ seem subtle.”

Evan Saathoff, Badass Digest:

“Tyler Perry’s approach to sex isn’t that far off from Steve Carrell’s character in ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’ describing a woman’s breast as feeling like sand. It’s basically just a bunch of steam and candles and lines that sound like they were written by a very horny but inexperienced twelve year old girl.”

“What more, really, can one say about a movie in which Kim Kardashian is the single most believable thing on screen?”

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