It seems highly likely that folks will look back at 2013 as a pretty notable year in terms of international gay and lesbian rights advancement, at least as far as same-sex marriage laws are concerned. France, New Zealand, Uruguay, Brazil and the United Kingdom were among the countries joining that particular party this year, just as the United States Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional in a landmark ruling.
As things go, one might think this would be reflected in what was also quite a significant year for portrayals of lesbian and gay characters in film. The privileged part of this world where lesbians and gays can increasingly decide whether or not to put a ring on it gave us a rather remarkable output of queer cinema this year. From France’s “Blue is The Warmest Color” and “Stranger By The Lake” to Canada’s “Tom at the Farm” and “Vic and Flo Saw a Bear” to America’s own “Kill Your Darlings,” “Concussion” and “Behind The Candelabra” the film festival circuit (not so much the multiplexes – though that’s hardly surprising and besides this particular point) was ablaze with captivating cinematic gays. But there were certainly no same-sex weddings up on those screens. Quite the opposite, actually.

Abdellatif Kechiche’s “Blue Is The Warmest Color” is perhaps the most
discussed of any of these films thanks to it winning the Palme d’Or at
the Cannes Film Festival and, more over, due to the intensely explicit
sex scenes between its two leading ladies. But “Blue” is much more than the “sexy lesbian movie that won at Cannes.” It’s poignant take on an epic relationship that

Two French films from Canada with queer relationships at their core were similarly unlovely. Xavier Dolan's "Tom at the Farm" finds its titular character (played by Dolan himself) traveling to the Quebec countryside for the funeral of his lover, Guillaume. But things on the farm aren't what Tom expected. Guillaume's mother (Lise Roy) had been entirely unaware of her son's sexuality. His monstrous older brother Francis (Pierre-Yves Cardinal), meanwhile, seems to have some secrets of his own as he essentially takes Tom as his rather willing hostage. A homoerotic cat-and-mouse game develops as a result, and Tom's lethal desire for Francis turns a little "Stranger at the Farm" as he's left beaten and bruised, yet comes back for more. Though in the end, Tom has a little more sense than Franck, finally and successfully running for his life back to the city.
Somewhere in that same countryside, Vic and Flo (Romane Bohringer and Pierrette Robitaille) of Denis Cote’s “Vic and Flo Saw a Bear” don't end up so lucky. The film -- which debuted in competition at the Berlinale -- offers the story of a lesbian couple who are trying to rebuild their lives (and their relationship) after one is released from prison. But their attempt is met with some trouble from the past. And though Vic and Flo's relationship -- already on some seriously rocky ground -- is tested by this, they do end up the first couple on this list that doesn't break up by film's end. Which would be great if the film's final moments didn't find them both lying dead in bear traps.
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Finally, another notable American entry to the queer film canon this year was Stacie Passon’s “Concussion,” the one and only example here that features a contemporary same-sex couple that’s actually married. Abby (Robin Weigert) is a forty-something lesbian who lives with her wife and two kids in New Jersey suburbia. But she’s clearly not satisfied, and after getting hit in the head by her kid's baseball begins acting out by spending her days working as -- you guessed it -- a high-end lesbian prostitute. This extreme mid-life crisis proves both thrilling and lucrative, though Abby ultimately ends up coming back to her and wife and their life when she begins to fear she’ll lose both. But Abby doesn’t seem particularly happy with this conclusion, and "Concussion" ends by perhaps suggesting that married, suburban gays are as destined for mundanity as their straight counterparts.
The interesting thing about these seven films collectively is that while they each offer examples of doomed romances, none of them are particularly focused on a "forbidden love" derived from the fact that the characters are gay or lesbian (a significant tradition in film depicting queer folks). There's certainly moments of sexual identity crises in the films, and in respect to historical biopics like "Kill Your Darlings" and "Behind The Candelabra," the characters reasonably are at least semi-closeted due to the social constraints of the times. But these films are not at their core about being gay or lesbian. They are all studies of human relationships, and of human existence and its many dualities. One of which is that love -- no matter how it begins -- is often not meant for the altar.
"Que(e)ries" is a column by Indiewire Senior Writer Peter Knegt. Follow him on Twitter.Sign Up: Stay on top of the latest breaking film and TV news! Sign up for our Email Newsletters here.