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The Worst Movie of 2013? ‘Grown-Ups 2’ Vaults Into the Lead

The Worst Movie of 2013? 'Grown-Ups 2' Vaults Into the Lead

No critic goes out of his or her way to see a terrible movie, so when they vote for the worst movie of the year, it’s usually one they were expecting better things from. But Time‘s Mary Pols, bless her intrepid heart, actually set out to see some of the year’s least impressive films on purpose, and the result is what for humanity’s sake we hope will be the best-researched worst of list we see all season. (Her more fortunate colleague Richard Corliss’ best movies are here.)

1. Grown-Ups 2. “There are people who will argue that 12 Years a Slave is the most depressing movie of the year. Enduring Grown Ups 2 threw me into a much deeper funk.”

2. Salinger. “A portrait of the writer as a controlling, predatory creep and a feeling that the filmmaker may missed his calling in reality television.”

3. The Host. “You will never feel worse for an actress (not even Cameron Diaz) than you will for poor [Saorsie] Ronan, who not long ago was a very young Oscar nominee.”

4. After Earth. “Who knew that one day, The Village would seem like a career highpoint?”

5. R.I.P.D. “This one was practically the death of me.”

6. Only God Forgives. “The visuals are aggressive — from the camera’s examination of fresh entrails to the lush beauty of the dark urban night — but the story is inert and the dialogue plays like a parody of Blue Velvet.”
7. The Big Wedding. “Gratuitous and in the end, grossly sentimental: it’s a marriage made in hell.”
8. The Counselor. “Look, were there movies of less cinematic value released this year? Certainly. But was there a movie that both raised and dashed expectations more impressively than Ridley Scott’s film of Cormac McCarthy’s first original — but really unoriginal — screenplay? No.”
9. Oz the Great and Powerful. “Can we all go back to our annual viewing of the brilliant original, please?”
10. The Hangover Part III. “Something needs to put this franchise, which in its first installment was raw and disgusting and also totally hilarious, out of its nasty, self-loathing misery.”

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