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Family and Filth Can Go Hand-in-Hand: The 12 Best Bits from Bob Saget on His New Book, ‘Dirty Daddy’

Family and Filth Can Go Hand-in-Hand: The 12 Best Bits from Bob Saget on His New Book, 'Dirty Daddy'

Currently on tour promoting his new book, “Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian,” Bob Saget sat down with author Kelly Oxford on April 17th as a part of Live Talks LA to discuss how the book came together. At its core, Saget says, the book is about how over the years, comedy has helped his family cope with death — particularly the passing of four of his siblings. Although filthy at times, Saget was forthcoming and humble with his responses throughout the evening — perhaps because Oxford set up a comfortable atmosphere, shifting seamlessly between interviewing and improv-ing with him.

Here are 12 of the most interesting and funny bits delivered by Saget:

On getting fired from CBS:

“I got fired from a show
on CBS because ‘I was too hot for morning television.’ Mariette Hartley was the
host and she said, ‘Are you a type A person?’ And I said, ‘Yes, but I’m working on
my A-nus.’ I said that, I wasn’t thinking and she said, ‘Go to your room, Bob.’ They sent me to – it was a 12-minute commercial break. I had to wait behind the
set for 12 minutes. The following week I was just on the steps going, ‘It’s
five minutes after the hour.'”

How Danny Tanner helped
Saget get “America’s Funniest Home Videos”:

“That helped me get that
show because they did believe that that was Danny Tanner as he really is –
which is a smarmy guy doing bad puns at 7 o’clock on a Sunday night when people
got hit in the nuts because there are only so many ways to host a blooper show.
So I got to double down on that two-dimensional image of myself. It was stupid
to say no to – it was a sensation.”

On doing comedy as a kid:

“I think half the people
liked me – it’s kind of like now – and half the people hated me.”

On sitting down with Matt
Lauer to talk about the book:

“We sat down and Matt
goes, ‘Ok this book is about comedy, death and your testicles. Explain.’ Run with

On his mother reading his

“The end of her life kind
of was interesting because I was doing this book and I was talking about all
the people that – she had lost a lot more than I had, she lived to 89. She lost four kids. A lot of hard times. She was clear and very happy, not in pain at the
end of her life. And then she started to read this book. She got 111 pages
in…and then she goes, ‘I’m sorry Bobby I had to stop reading it.’ And she got [to] right before the chapter of things I shouldn’t have done, which is
about me drinking and driving and doing things I shouldn’t have done – lighting
fires under the bed when my grandmother was asleep in the bed. Things that a
lot of people do if something is wrong with them. By her not completing the
book, I do think it lengthened her life by about two weeks. If she had read two
more chapters we would’ve lost her.”

Saget’s mother on the

“She said that she would
give me a sign. So I said, ‘So you’re going to give me a…I don’t want anything
creepy mom, don’t weird me out mom.’ She said, ‘Just if you see’ – I don’t know
how she thought of it, just amazing improv – ‘if you see a dove…because Dove
soap, if you see a dove.’ And I went, ‘So if I see a dove that’s you?’ ‘It’s a
sign,’ [she said].”

On whether he has seen the dove yet (a.k.a. his mother):

“I have not seen the dove
yet. I need to go to the Magic Castle. I’ll probably see a few there. What if
one flew in here right now? I’d kill it. Swat it down and then we’d cook it.
We’d get the projector and let the ball just burn it and roast it. And that’s
the story of how I ate my mother.”

On how long it took to
write the book:

“I would say six months of
the year and a half were solid writing, probably six months were nothing, if
you added up all the time. And then six months, I guess mostly masturbation and
eating badly.”

Don Rickles on Saget’s HBO

“Don Rickles, who is a
friend of mine and he’s alive. You should see Don Rickles anywhere if he’s
going to perform – he’s going to perform near here not too long from now. You
have to see him he’s so cute. He saw that HBO special that I did right after I
did it and he came up to me and he said, ‘I saw your special last night Bob. It
was very good.’ And then he slapped me and he said, “You left out two fucks.”

John Stamos is actually the reason Saget
knows Don Rickles:

BS: John takes a friendship
to old comedy guys. He’s very close with Garry Marshall. He’s just very, very
close with all these guys. We ran into Bob Evans and he’s like, ‘I can’t really
get out a lot but I’ll take you two guys to lunch.’ John’s like, I don’t know
what it is, it’s just, he’s got some like old showbiz [in him].

KO: It’s the hair.

BS: He’s got the hair. He’s got that skin. He weighs like a pound.

Why Stamos resented Comet the dog at one point:

“Stamos was pissed because
Comet got the movie ‘Air Bud.’ So this is resentful actor talk. ‘The dog got a
movie. Why are we not in the movies?'”

Bob Saget’s two favorite fart jokes:

“This is terrible. This is a dirty, dirty joke. Oh crap. Well there’s one, I’ll do it real fast. One that, it’s just a guy — his wife brings him in the house, blindfolds him, sits him down and says just sit there I’ve got a surprise for you. It’s not even a joke, it’s just terrible. She leaves and he just starts farting because he ate all this stuff. And the reveal at the end of the joke is that she takes off his blindfold and it’s surprise party and a hundred people are there. That’s the clean one. The other one is really not good. It’s bad. I was fourteen when I heard this. Okay. A couple — they’re not married, they’re strangers, they’re seedy people, they’re not good, they’ve been around, say they met at a truck stop. And she says to him — this is terrible — do you want to do 69? And he goes, sure. So they go to the hotel and they’re doing it and then…she accidentally farts in his face and he goes, ‘That’s it. I can’t do 68 more of those.'”

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