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Ranking the House Down: Our Squirrel Friends of Rupaul’s Drag Race, Season Six (Recap #5)

Ranking the House Down: Our Squirrel Friends of Rupaul’s Drag Race, Season Six (Recap #5)

This week we finally said goodbye to Milk after she flopped in the
collaborative rap performance “Oh No She Better Don’t”. We have kvetched about
Milk for some time now, perhaps to the degree of overkill. Let us remember,
though, how much we would have loved Milk had she appeared in season two or
three. In other words, let us take a moment to ruminate on how easy we have it
in the current kitsch epoch of Drag Race where queens such as Sharon Needles,
Detox and Jinkx Monsoon are the megastars of the circuit. We are so privileged
to be at place in the course of this show where we can have innovative,
outside-the-pink-furry-box queens like Milk enter the competition, and where we
can bitch about how they are not arty or edgy enough. Seriously, we are eating
our cake right now and it tastes so good.

Though it has been easy to forget, Milk’s best moments are not few. Here are
some highlights…

There are eight queens left, and to our excitement the season has still not
become predictable. The last couple weeks have been a significant turn of events
in which glamazons and “messy queens” have switched places in the competition.
At the relative mid-point of the season it is certain that a small number of high-performing
queens will make it to the season finale, while a couple bottom-feeder queens
will get the boot in the next week’s double-episode extravaganza (!!!).
However, there still are queens in the middle who could shake things up. Here
is how the competition looks after “Oh No She Better Don’t”…

The bulk of this season from here on out will consist of comedic challenges,
and we know by now that Trinity does not have a funny nerve in her body. She
has more charisma than the average squirrel, but her talents are limited to
sewing, posing and lip-syncing. Much as we hate to speak of such talents with a
deficit lens, we are in the top eight in the fatherfucking drag Olympics, where
we need more from queens than “pretty”.

Of course, in the event that Trinity sees the light of another day in the Drag
Race workroom we will likely see this puddle of tears go home. It is a shame to
admit that Laganja has an edge over Trinity at this moment in season six
because for the last four weeks we have been praying for her elimination.
Season six right now reminds one of the middle of season four, wherein we had
clearly established who the top six queens were. We thus had become becoming
tired of seeing the faces of queens who had clearly lost traction but were
still disgracing us with their presence. And just like Milan and Jiggly in
season four, both Trinity and Laganja are major choke artists: they only pull
through and (to varying degrees) impress us after having failed miserably in
main challenges. However, unlike Trinity in this season and Jiggly in season
four (and Dida Ritz, for that matter), Laganja will likely not even leave a
lasting impression for her lip-syncing abilities. This brat will probably fade
into the dusty annals of our collective memory. Our conversations of her
pitiful performance in season six will stop after her elimination. She will
erase from our consciousness.
LOW: Miss Darienne Lake
There is still a chance for Darienne to surprise us. She has ranked low a couple
times now, but her main challenge win in the Scream Queens episode shows us
that she could still hold strong in future comedy challenges. Furthermore, her
win of the reading mini-challenge this week, as well as her newly emerging
rivalry with Ben de la Creme, indicates that she is still too important to the
narrative trajectory of the show to go home so soon.

SAFE: Joslyn Fox & Courtney Act
Joslyn is rising and Courtney is sinking. Joslyn slays us in the main
challenges but walks the runway looking like a “fucking dumpster,” while Courtney
has had almost no screen time the last couple weeks but has overall
consistently presented eleganza extravaganza. After this week, in which Joslyn
ranked high with the judges for her rapping skills and Courtney, well, walked
the runway in a blanket and bikini (it seems so sad when phrased that way), we
are scratching our heads about the direction in which this season is going.
Weeks ago none of us could have imagined Courtney falling from her position as
one of the top three competitors, nor had we foreseen Joslyn exhibiting so much
thespian talent. It has been an entertaining surprise to see such a 180 flip
from two queens that we thought we had figured out so early on.

SECOND RUNNER-UP: Adore Delano & Ben de la Creme
One can tell from the disproportionate screen time she has received, especially
in the talking head clips, that Adore Delano will last a long stretch of season
six. The early episodes were edited to set us up for what has been a grand
turnaround from a queen who started out as amateurish and bratty. We love
watching Adore grow as much as the judges do, and her increasingly strong
performances in the main challenges holds promise for the weeks ahead.
Meanwhile, as Adore is becoming more lovable Ben is starting to show her true
shades. The rivalry with Darienne in this past week’s episode was a tasty
treat, even as it seemed to come out of nowhere. One hopes these two are paired
in some mini or main challenge, so that we see Darienne scrape off the
remainder of Ben’s “delightful” demeanor and reveal the glorious monster that
has been hiding inside her. We all know Ben is quick and quippy—wouldn’t it
wonderful to see her blossom into a cutthroat bitch?

WINNER: Bianca del Rio
Bianca has not yet performed poorly in a main challenge. Her runway
presentations show no major flaws (this week she even took the white lines from
under her eyes and stuck them up her nose, remember). She is funny, and
generously so. By now her rapport with the audience in her talking head clips feels
almost flirtatious, we feel so intimate and close to her. She puts on the
visage of a jaded, hardened bitch, but we know that underneath the act Bianca
is a soft and sensitive queen, as she has shown in the past two episodes. The
evolution of Bianca across season six has taken turns of wicked, hilarious, and
now heart-warming. There is more than half a season left to prove us wrong, but
we feel pretty sure that Bianca is going to take home the crown.

The above is how the queens will likely get eliminated. Now here is how we
deserve to see the squirrel friends of season six go home. Let us rank this
bitch down…

8. Laganja: Obviously…

7. Trinity: Yup.

6. Darienne: Arguably the most gorgeous of these queens, but will the upcoming
main challenges get the worst of her?

5. Courtney Act: There is hope yet for this tuna steak, but she will need to
pull out some new tricks to win back the love we had for her in the Rusical. 

4. Ben de la Creme: Given how strategically she has played the game,
particularly in the Snatch Game, one wonders what surprises Ben will throw into
this competition in weeks to come.

3. Joslyn Fox: We do not overlook her dreadful fashion choices, but thus far she
is one of the most undeniably talented, not to mention genuinely enjoyable queens
of season six.

2. Adore Delano: She takes critiques seriously, she respects the wisdom of her
drag elders, and she has stomped over the main challenges for the last three
weeks. Style can be learned but talent is a hard thing to learn in twelve
weeks, and with this in mind we feel Adore will grow into one of our very
favourites of the series.

1. Bianca del Rio: We wonder at this point if Mama Ru is going to let the top
queen of season six smoothly sail to the crown or else trip her up with a
leftfield challenge. Let us cross our fingers for the latter. We want to see
our favourite queen sweat a bit.


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