To remind us all that time is an ever-constant, inescapable force thrusting us far too fast from the cradle to the grave, Kevin Smith is directing a film starring his 15-year-old daughter Harley Quinn.
“Yoga Hosers,” which Smith refers to as a comic book movie (despite not having any connection to an actual comic book) will co-star Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp’s daughter Lily-Rose Depp. (The concept that Johnny Depp has a 15-year-old daughter is not as chilling a reminder of our mortality, for some reason.)
The Hollywood Reporter’s synopsis describes “Yoga Hosers” as follows:
“‘Hosers,’ written by Smith, centers on 15-year-old yoga nuts Colleen Collette (Lily-Rose Depp) and Colleen McKenzie (Harley Quinn Smith), who have an after-school job at a Manitoba convenience store called Eh-2-Zed. When an ancient evil rises from beneath Canada’s crust and threatens their big invitation to a Grade 12 party, the Colleens join forces with a legendary man-hunter from Montreal named Guy Lapointe (Depp) to fight for their lives with, according to the producers, ‘all seven Chakras, one Warrior Pose at a time.'”
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It’s a complicated premise; the only thing harder to comprehend is the notion that we ourselves were 15 years old when we saw “Clerks” for the first time, and that must mean death comes for us all.
“Yoga Hosers” is being financed by StarStream Entertainment — it also functions as the second part of Smith’s “True North” trilogy. The first installment, the Justin Long and Michael Parks-starring “Tusk,” will premiere at TIFF. It will likely not make us feel burdened by the decades gone by, but will, perhaps, make us slightly skittish about walruses.