While the past few days have brought numerous semi-scandalous headlines along the lines of “‘Orange Is The New Black’ Writer Divorces Her Husband, Starts Dating Poussey,” it’s important to look beyond the drama and at an essay said writer, Lauren Morelli, wrote way back in May. It’s a poignant, personal account of her experiences coming out, and much more pivotal read that the admittedly fun fact that she’s now dating one of the show’s stars:
I realized I was gay in fall 2012, one of my first days on the set. It wasn’t so much one thing, but the sum of many small details: how uncomfortable I .felt around groups of lesbians or how I considered myself (shrug) a “not very sexual person.” When considered alone, these seemed like little quirks that made me me. Wanting to read a book instead of have sex is a perfectly reasonable preference to have, right?
But on set, these small moments came into sharp relief, and I found myself answering to an endless stream of cast members who peppered me with questions like a gaggle of kindergartners curious about their new teacher. “Are you dating anyone?” “You’re married?” “To a man?” “But you used to kiss girls?” “Do you miss it?”
I was finally forced to consider a question that had never, ever occurred to me before: Holy shit, am I gay?