Hey, squirrel friends!
Mama Ru is back and she’s brought a fierce pack
of blood thirsty queens with her. You can check back here weekly for our recaps
and readjusted Queenly Rankings.
Now, let’s read these bitches for filth! Or, at
least assign a totally subjective ranking based on their performance in week
All Shade—Here’s the Recap:
Last week’s doozy of an elimination reverberates
throughout the workroom as the queens enter. That’s right: Trixie is gone, and
Pearl escaped by the skin of her teeth. And guess what? The other queens are
not happy. Katya and Mrs. Kasha Davis in particular are Over! It!
The next day, Ru’s message (R.I.P. She-Mail)
indicates that the week will be award show themed. Yaassss!!! The
mini-challenge is based on an Instagram user who recreated famous Drag Race looks using only paper. The
queens are tasked with doing their own paper recreations, but this time of
infamous celebrity fashion faux pas!
Minj & Kandy Ho’: Lil’ Kim’s purple pasty
Davenport & Jaidynn Diore Fierce: Lady Gaga’s
& Max: Cher’s black headdress by Bob Mackie
Davis & Katya: Bjork’s swan dress
& Miss Fame: J. Lo’s navel-diving green Grammys
The paper outfits are all serviceable, but Mrs.
Kasha Davis’s embodiment of Joan Rivers while critiquing Katya’s Bjork ensemble
is just too hilarious! “Her look is tired,” she says. “Almost as tired as
These two are the clear winners, but what do
they get? The chance to show of their comedic chops while hosting The DESPY
Awards during the week’s maxi-challenge. #SnatchingTrophies! The rest of the
pairs from the mini-challenged are tasked with presenting the awards, including
writing funny banter between each other and jokes about the other queens. And
whoever wins each award must give an acceptance speech on the fly!
I’m feeling this one already and once Ru
announces that Kathy Griffin will be advising the queens on their comedy, I’m
While working on the material many of the queens
face controversy, but none as bad as Max and Pearl. Basically, Ru tells Pearl
that she has very little personality. Pearl is understandably offended (Ru
really is rude to her) and the awkwardness is almost unbearable. “I’m not
convinced,” says Ru, “and I want you to do well. This is a once in a lifetime
opportunity.” Pearl’s response, accompanied by an eye roll: “Yeah. I’m aware.”
Pearl ends up leaving the workroom, apparently
for over an hour. Finally she comes back. Her confidence is definitely shot:
will that make her step up or stumble back even further? Only time will tell.
Once the teams get their material together, it’s
time to face Kathy Griffin. SHE EATS THEM
ALIVE! That’s basically all you need to know. That and that she thinks
Danny DeVito references are not applicable to gay people. She’s just hilarious
and should maybe be a constant
presence on every episode.
Before we move on to the runway, we need to take
a second and honor Miss Fame’s obsession with chickens. She goes off on a
monologue while prepping in the mirror. Apparently she raised chickens when she
was younger, and we hear all about
it: how she incubated eggs under her bed, how she groomed them and showed them
at fairs, and how she sang songs to them. This is maybe the biggest WTF? moment
in Drag Race herstory. Especially the
part where she clucks on camera for a solid five seconds.
It’s time for the runway and the first annual
DESPY Awards! Ru looks gorgeous as ever in a golden gown, and she’s joined by
Michelle Visage, Ross Matthews, and, in Carson Kressley’s stead, fashion
designer Isaac Mizrahi. If anyone’s watched Project
Runway: All-Stars, then you know just how sassy this man’s one-liners can
be. I’m excited.
Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya are up first and
right of the bat it’s kind of…dull! Katya is funnier than Kasha, but not by
much, and both of them look just meh. The best line? “Now, welcome the stars of
Tyler Perry’s Roots, Jaidynn Diore
Fierce and Kennedy Davenport!”
These two fare better with a funny sight gag
about how Kennedy looks like an hourglass and Jaidynn—the biggest girl of the
season—looks like a wall clock. They present the Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen award to
Miss Fame whose acceptance speech upstages them both: “I’d like to thank Mexico
for the tapeworm that snatched my body!”
Next up are Pearl and Max. Oh no. Wait. Huh?
They’re great! No really, they’re fantastic. They’re presenting Most Busted
Drag Queen, and Pearl upstages Max, especially with her hilarious impression of
the Orlando-based Ginger Minj: “Girl! After we swing by Gatorland we can go
back to my apartment and swing on my husband!” Her facial expressions are on
point and her dress is gorgeous. Jaidynn wins the award!
Kandy and Ginger take to the stage to present
the Shadiest Shade award. Almost immediately Kandy struggles to land a joke and
Ginger predictably overshadows her. “I’m so honored to be here at the first
annual DESPY Awards,” notes Kandy. Ginger chimes in: “And I’m…working off
community service.” They present the award to Violet Chachki who mirrors Sally
Field’s Oscar speech: “You don’t like me! You really don’t like me!”
Miss Fame joins Violet onstage to present the
Meatiest Tuck award. They both struggle with their jokes and their mean bit
about Pearl is just mean, not funny.
Anyway, the award goes to Katya (who apparently has a big dick), and her speech
is absurd and wonderful: “I believe it was the great American painter Bob Ross
who said, ‘The key to a swollen vagina is courage!’” YES!
The queens did relatively well, but
shockingly…Pearl and Max are the winners! They were the funniest overall
pair—Ginger would have won if the challenge were individual—and Pearl really
needed the boost. “RuPaul, you gave me the smack down yesterday,” she says,
“and it worked. Thank you. I appreciate you.” Good on you, Pearl!
The judges praise Katya for pushing through the
poor opening to a great acceptance speech, Ginger for showing up and showing
off her comedy chops, and Miss Fame for working hard and pushing beyond her
The bottom three, then, are Kandy Ho’, Violet
Chachki, and Mrs. Kasha Davis. Kandy just didn’t impress, Violet’s jokes did
not land, and Kasha was not over the top enough.
Violet is safe, which means Kandy Ho’ and Mrs.
Kasha Davis are up for elimination! They lip synch to “Lovergirl” by Teena
Marie. It is by far the best of the season thus far, and both queens are giving
it! Kasha is more old school and Kandy is dancing like there’s no tomorrow, and
it is really too close to call. But…
Kandy Ho’, shante, you stay! Mrs. Kasha Davis,
It is a shocking elimination because Kandy has
yet to come alive in a challenge like the other girls. But her lip synch was on
point and she had less of a comedic pedestal to fall from than Kasha. I am not
too saddened by Kasha’s departure, but she was a fun presence and will be
Turn to the next page for our definitive ranking of Ru’s Queens…
Definitive Ranking of Ru’s Queens (Season 7 Style): For our purposes, the
eliminated queen will be ranked last; everyone else’s spot is fair game!
Kasha Davis —
It wasn’t her time, and I wish Kandy had gone
home instead, but Mrs. Kasha Davis always seemed a little too low-key to win
the whole thing. And I don’t really have time for that. So, it’s aight. Bye,
9. Kandy Ho’ —
That being said, Kandy won’t win either, and she
isn’t improving. If she lands in the bottom two again, no matter how bad her
lip synch competitor is, she’s going home.
8. Pearl —
Yes, she won the challenge this week. And yes,
she showed more vulnerability and talent than in all the other weeks combined.
But I just can’t get my hopes up. One more week impressing us and she will
shoot up the charts!
Jaidynn Diore Fierce —
She’s consistent, but she definitely does not
have the funny bone naturally. Kennedy saw her through this challenge. How will
she do in the weeks ahead? Unclear, so she will sit toward the bottom of the
Kennedy Davenport —
She was just alright this week: not great, but
certainly not bad either. She needs to get a dance challenge and show these
bitches up, but until then she has yet to regain her high standing from the
first couple of episodes.
5. Katya —
She held her duo together, and that acceptance
speech was pure comic gold. In “Untucked” she opened up about feeling somewhat
helpless and like she has yet to show off her real talent. That being said,
she’s still better than most of the queens this season. I can’t wait for her
unleash it all and make it to the top of this list!
4. Max —
She has been stepping up her game, and she’s
just such a great team player! She earned this spot, but I am not convinced
that she can make it to the top just yet…
Alright, so live comedy may be Violet’s one
weakness so far. But still, she has impressed so much in the preceding weeks,
it is difficult to fault her too much. Her looks are on point, she’s got a fun
sense of humor, and she is finally warming up to the other queens, too. I can
She showed us a whole new side this week. Isaac
said it best during her critique: “She’s a model, but I can tell she’s got a
funny little boy inside her.” Most definitely. Her chicken obsession will sky
rocket her fan base because it is too weird to ignore, and she really is
expanding her reach from week to week. Looking forward to seeing Fame continue
She’s just the best out there right now. This
challenge was hers. Keep slaying, Minj! Keep slaying.