“I swear to God I had something for this.” (Episode Summary)
When can a complete mission failure resulting in the deaths of at least two world-renowned doctors be the best case scenario? When it means “Archer” Season 7 is getting its “Vice” back. After catastrophically failing the mission — twice over, thanks to Krieger’s deliberate sabotage of both the insertion last week and the backup supercomputer this week — the ex-ISIS, ex-CIA employees are again out on their asses and in need of a new line of work. Though the episode also chronicled Lana’s newfound motherly fears and Archer’s suddenly-problematic God complex, the desperate race to a finish line never crossed is all but irrelevant now. So let’s celebrate the best of the episode before looking forward to an exciting and unprecedented (kind of) new season.
“Bloody Mary, full of vodka, pray for me now…” (Best Drinking Reference)
“I’m making room for Tang.” As soon as Archer dropped this unsupported astronaut reference while mixing rubbing alcohol with “fruity drink powder,” I knew Season 6’s finale wasn’t going to disappoint. It did not, even if Archer’s drink absolutely would. Please don’t try it. No matter how much your frat family can put away in a night, rubbing alcohol isn’t worth the bragging rights.
“Danger zone!” (Most Action-y Action Sequence)
As soon as Archer mentioned “jumping to hyperspace,” I got pretty excited. No, not like Ray sounded when he actually made the maneuver (more on that below). Instead of “Star Wars”-esque VFX, though, we were treated to another effective entry in the long-running joke of Ray’s unfortunate pratfalls. (Boy, do I bet he wishes Brett stowed away on these missions.) Though it would have been nice to see a George Lucas-like visual homage, the animation of their ship traveling through the bloodstream, combined with its disgusting enlargement to cap the mission made for quite the impressive array of animation. It’s been a helluva year for the animation team, and they didn’t let us down in the finale — even if those heavily copyrighted references could have been the cherry on top.
“Okay, Gillette. Now just slip it in, nice and easy.” – Slater
“Ohhh. I’m in.” – Ray
“What about, ‘That’s what she said.’ Can we at least do that?” – Archer
“Tactleneck” (Best Archer Innovation)
Portable laser! Portable laser? If we’d known there was a portable laser on board, I doubt anyone would have chosen to use the all-too-stationary turret in the first place. Though technically not invented by Archer, the portable laser lead to much excitement if surprisingly few penis jokes. I mean, look at that thing. And look at what it was shooting. The bounty of potential “phrasings” must have been cut for time.
“That’s like killing a unicorn!” (Best Quote)
“Maybe the CIA should do a Kickstarter.” – Mallory
When Mallory first made fun of Kickstarter — “And everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up and everyone’s Kickstarter has merit?” — it felt slightly forced but still funny. Kickstarter just seems to inhabit a world Mallory would choose to ignore, but the validity of her statement trumped any rationale excuse to reject it. But when she made the callback later on, it fully won me over. Kickstarter is absolutely something Mallory would despite, as it revolves around many small donations adding up to something big. She’s from East Egg and everyone involved with Kickstarter is from West Egg. So yes, Mallory gets the final kicker of Season 6. Congratu— aw, she wouldn’t care.
“Can’t or won’t?” (Analysis)
Last week I complained about the many possible set-ups for what could become a daring final episode, while regretting less progress was made in the half-hour precursor to it. None of my predictions came true (unless you think Ray actually died in that wheelbarrow, which HE MAY HAVE), as Lana and Archer’s great debate on mortality wasn’t given an answer. Instead, it appears to be the jumping off point for Season 7. Now that the gang has been blacklisted from espionage, Lana will have to push Archer toward a safer profession — though I’m guessing that’s not what he has in mind.
The two will obviously have it out, with Lana arguing for Archer’s life and our hero fighting to his death — a death fans know will never come (at least, it better not). How that battle between parents will be decided is as fascinating as the options available to our crew. What will they be doing come Season 7? Will they be mercenaries a la “The Expendables,” thus opening up a door to more action guest stars? Will they all take various jobs in separate offices before Mallory has to “get the band back together” for her new venture? Will they find a way to wiggle back into espionage out of necessity, talent or dumb luck? Many more options lie ahead for our team, but the finality of “Drastic Voyage: Part II” leaves much to be excited about for the future.