Hey, squirrel friends!
Mama Ru is back and she’s brought a fierce pack
of blood thirsty queens with her. You can check back here weekly for our recaps
and readjusted Queenly Rankings.
Now, let’s read these bitches for filth! Or, at
least assign a totally subjective ranking based on their performance in week
All Shade—Here’s the Recap:
Hunties, things have been go, go, go this week, and as such I regret to
inform you that this Ru-cap is gonna have to be cut short. Don’t fear, though;
next week we will come back bigger, louder, and shadier than ever!
Here’s all you need to know:
Snatch Game, the celeb impersonation game show
we’ve all been waiting for! This one usually separates the real funny ladies
from the occasionally humorous one-liner queens, and this time was no
Stand-Outs: Ginger Minj as Adele, Kennedy Davenport as Little Richard (yes, she
went boy, and yes, it paid off), Katya as Suze Orman (which was funny but a
little low-key), and, in my opinion, Pearl and Violet Chachki as Big Ang (the
big-breasted protagonist of that Mob
Wives show, from whom Pearl mined a great deal of humor) and season five
contestant Alyssa Edwards, respectively.
Losers: Jaidynn Diore Fierce as Raven Symone, Miss Fame as Donatella
Versace, and, most disappointingly, Max as spooky season four winner (and my
personal favorite) Sharon Needles.
Runway: Leather and Lace, in which most of the queens wore some variation of
what we’d already seen, though Violet’s S&M-inspired number and Ginger
Minj’s Elvis “Priss-ley” look were hawt.
Winners: Kennedy Davenport AND Ginger Minj! Holla! They so deserved it—even
though off-screen on Untucked they are consistently the bitchiest contestants.
Two: Max and Jaidynn Diore Fierce. Predictable
choices, though it is Max’s first time in the bottom two and Jaidynn’s second
lip sync in a row. They perform to Michel’le’s “No More Lies,” and Jaidynn
simply turns it out! Shantay, you stay!
Queen: Max. I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve been
saying over and over that she would likely just hit a wall at some point,
though I did not expect that point to be the uber-theatrical Snatch Game. Her
uniqueness will be missed, but I think she had already quit listening and
learning in the process.
Special Bonus: At the end of the episode, rather
than having the queens dance on-stage, RuPaul made a shocking announcement: “I have
a confession to make. I fear I’ve made a terrible mistake, that I’ve left one
of the eliminated queens go home too soon,” she said rather solemnly. “I’m just
not sure which one! Could it be Tempest DuJour, Sasha Belle, Jasmine Masters,
Trixie Mattel, Mrs. Kasha Davis, Kandy Ho’, or Max? Well, I’m sure it’ll come
Who will it be? All signs point to Miss Trixie
Mattel, who was eliminated controversially in episode four after Pearl kind of,
maybe, sort of out-lip-synched her!
Definitive Ranking of Ru’s Queens (Season 7 Style): For our purposes, the
eliminated queen will be ranked last; everyone else’s spot is fair game!
8. Max —
Max made it much further than I initially
thought she would. I can’t say I always liked her—especially when she went all
prim and proper on us—but she’s certainly talented and intelligent. Her looks
were always well thought out and her characters defined. We will miss you,
Jaidynn Diore Fierce —
This saddens me. She’s shown us she can do well
in this competition, and I think that with a different character she could have
owned Snatch Game. Alas, she wound up in the bottom two for a second week in a
row. She may go the way of Kandy: she could beat anyone at a lip synch, but how
long will Ru keep her if she keeps landing there?
Fame just can’t get a grip. Her Versace was not
awful in its conceit, but she showed us that she can’t exactly ad lib and that
if she were to face-off against Violet (who also wanted to do Donatella, and
then did even better with her Alyssa Edwards), she’d almost certainly lose.
Crossing my fingers for a comeback here!
5. Pearl —
I can’t in good confidence place Pearl in my top
few choices this week. She still needs to gain back some of my trust, honestly,
but she is attacking this competition
slowly and surely. Her runway was a little blah, with sleepy back on the menu,
but her Big Ang was inspired and hilarious, becoming more than a great visual
joke. Good on you, Pearly girl!
Kennedy Davenport —
I am not a fan of Kennedy’s attitude, but boy is
she an amazing performer! She is a little on the outside looking in at the top
three right now, but she could easily break into it, especially if she gets a
chance to dance her way past all these bitches! Little Richard was a true risk
and it paid off.
I’m gonna say it: I really, really like Violet. I never thought I would, but miss thing is
t.a.l.e.n.t. personified this season. The look, the humor, the ferocity with
which she attacks each challenge, all of these factors could very well push her
to the win.
2. Katya —
She’s consistent, and that’s important in this
competition. I think she has found a groove, and I really jive with her sense
of humor (as do the judges apparently). We also got to see a real vulnerability
to her this week which was lovely and personal and illuminating. Here’s hoping
Little Miss Russia continues to pull it out and open up!
The Minj takes my top spot again after a couple
weeks of dethroned status. Her Adele had me (and everyone else) rolling, her
runway was styled to perfection, and she just seems somewhat unstoppable. Now,
if she’d just lose a little of the off-screen attitude (the shade she throws is
a little rougher than Bianca Del Rio’s well-intentioned vibe) I could get
behind her all the way!