Hey, squirrel friends!
Mama Ru is back and she’s brought a fierce pack
of blood thirsty queens with her. You can check back here weekly for our recaps
and readjusted Queenly Rankings.
Now, let’s read these bitches for filth! Or, at
least assign a totally subjective ranking based on their performance in week
All Shade—Here’s the Recap:
Max is gone, and Ru has threatened to bring back
an eliminated queen. It’s so super obvious who that will be: Trixie Mattel. The
hate-filled blogosphere after her untimely elimination would scare any queen,
even Mama Ru.
The reigning sentiment, though (and this applies
to almost any reality competition ever, it seems) is that none of the queens
want anyone to come back. I guess it’s one of those
good-for-TV-but-bad-for-the-contestants’-morale kind of things?
Next day and…F*CK YES! Latrice Royale is the
guest judge of a prison-themed mini-challenge. Dying. Died. Dead. The queens
are tasked with dragging up prison uniforms into fabulous creations; all the
while, Latrice walks around making snide prison guard comments and we are once
more reminded of her unique genius. Love!
At the Tuckahoe Prison Fashion Show, Kennedy
Davenport (aka Ho ‘N’ Good Stuff, whose prison job is cooking ramen noodles),
Katya (aka Olga, whose favorite prison activity is having gingivitis), and
Jaidynn Diore Fierce (aka Slutisha, who lives in cell block XXX) really give it
And…Kennedy is the winner of the
Now, time to reveal who the returning queen is.
It’s Trixie Mattel! And Tempest DuJour. And Kandy Ho’. And every last bitch who has gotten the boot so far!
Don’t worry: Ru gonna explain it all.
This week’s maxi-challenge: Conjoined Queens!
Each of the remaining contestants will be paired up with an eliminated queen,
and they will be tasked with making over the loser into a twin. A conjoined twin! Duh duh duh! The
eliminated queen in the winning team will stay in the competition.
I think this is an amazing idea. It really
places the burden on both the eliminated and remaining contestants to perform
their best and, hopefully, bring it all on the runway! A true chance at
As the winner of the mini-challenge, Kennedy
gets to pair up the queens, which she does as follows:
– Kennedy + Jasmine Masters —
– Ginger Minj + Sasha Belle —
I guess they’re the most physically alike?
– Pearl + Trixie Mattel —
This seems stacked in terms of likeness and talent.
– Miss Fame + Kandy Ho‘ — No
– Katya + Mrs. Kasha Davis —
Two funny ladies with piercing blue eyes. Aight.
– Violet Chachki + Max —
Tall, lean, and inconsistent. Yum!
– Jaidynn Diore Fierce +
Tempest DuJour — Rough rough rough!
“Welcome to RuPaul’s Drag Race Reunited,” yells
Ru as she walks in the work room to talk to these dueling pairs. It’s a funny
joke, but these bitches aren’t laughing. The mood is pretty glum, but that
doesn’t mean there isn’t time for a few jokes.
Standouts include Ginger’s assessment of her
team: “Sasha Belle don’t sew. I don’t sew. So,
I don’t know how we are gonna make this work!” Kandy’s observation of her
teammate is just too on the money: “Miss Fame talks so much. Her answers are
paragraphs!” And Katya’s resentment about the whole situation is typically
acid-tongued: “If one of these eliminated whores gets to stay and I have to go
home I am going to have a wonderful time going to their house and burning it
Once again the queens open up about past trauma
while they ready themselves for the runway. Tempest talks about her Mormon
background and how she underwent reparative therapy. “It nearly destroyed me,”
she says, before discussing how high the suicide rate is for LGBT youth. This
show proves time and time again how wonderful a sounding board it is for issues
within the queer community. Amen to that!
We also learn that Trixie’s abusive step-father
would call her names when she was acting too effeminate, including, well,
“trixie.” “I took that word and made it my drag name, and now it’s something I
celebrate,” she explains. Y’all, the tears are flowing.
Alright. Runway time! The guest judges this week
are True Blood star Nelsan Ellis, aka
Lafayette, Bon Temp, LA’s premiere gender-fuck fry cook, and singer LeAnn
This runway very nearly steals the spotlight
from Death Becomes Her a couple of weeks ago. Everyone looks great, even the
somewhat less inspired looks! The standouts are certainly Pearl and Trixie as
eerily child-like beauty pageant girls (one of whom is still plagued by acne
and head gear) connected at the hip, Katya and Mrs. Kasha Davis as drunk, coked
out Atlantic City prostitutes connected at the pussy (their word, not mine),
and Violet and Max as showgirls connected by their uber-skinny, corseted
It is definitely Trixie or Mrs. Kasha Davis for
the win tonight, but who will it be?! It’s TRIXIE!!! It was meant to be. Even
if Mrs. Kasha Davis was funnier (she was) it was always Trixie and Pearl, who
looked gorgeous and demented. “This feels so full circle,” notes Pearl, “taking
Trixie out and now bringing Trixie back in.” Halleloo!
Now that that tension is cut, Katya, Kennedy,
Violet, and Miss Fame are safe.
That means Jaidynn Diore Fierce and, *what*
Ginger Minj are in the bottom two this week! Ginger struggled, but given Miss
Fame’s place in the bottom three multiple weeks, I am shocked they didn’t want
to give her a bit of a wake-up call.
These two divas (plus, in the unfortunate realm
of this challenge, their conjoined twins) take on Tiffany’s “I Think We’re
Alone Now” (lol). Ginger really plays up the giant uni-boob between her and
Sasha, even giving them a mastectomy on stage and cuddling the padding like
it’s a husband pillow; in contrast, Jaidynn just seems hindered as Tempest, a
good foot and a half taller, does disco hands behind her.
Ginger Minj, shantay, you stay!
Jaidynn Diore Fierce, sashay away. “I feel
pretty devastated,” she says as she writes her lipstick message on the workroom
mirror. “But I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I just want to be
loved and accepted for who I am!” You are beautiful, Ms. Fierce, and you
deserve that love!
Turn to the next page for our latest rankings…
Definitive Ranking of Ru’s Queens (Season 7 Style): For our purposes, the
eliminated queen will be ranked last; everyone else’s spot is fair game!
Jaidynn Diore Fierce —
Girl, it was your time, but that doesn’t meant
you weren’t fierce as fuck. Jaidynn really held her own in this competition and
she can take a butt-load of self-confidence back to her hometown. I’m crossing
my fingers that her family also realizes how beautiful she truly is.
Week after week Fame has tumbled ever downward.
She has yet to really prove her merit beyond week one’s fashion-based
challenge, and she hasn’t proved particularly interesting to watch either. I’m
calling her in the bottom two next week, y’all.
I don’t actually think that Ginger is the sixth
best queen in this competition right now, but it wasn’t her week. She strutted
her stuff in that lip synch and proved she can be fierce as hell, but she does
need to gain back some confidence for the weeks ahead.
Violet continues to impress, just not quite as
much as she did before. Her Max makeover was pretty spectacular though!
Kennedy Davenport —
I still think she’s not very nice, but she is
hella talented. Just when I think she’s not a funny queen, she turns that
Tuckahoe Fashion Show mini-challenge out, and if she gets to dance in the next
couple weeks, she could have another maxi-challenge win in her.
She came alive this week in a way I hadn’t seen,
and she continues to solidify herself not only as one of the funniest queens in
the competition, but as the crassest. If that floats your boat as much as it
does mine (and seemingly Ru’s), then Katya could come out on top.
Pearl painted Trixie to perfection, she held her
own beside a truly funny lady, and she continues to grow each and every week.
It is finally looking like this queen could make it to the top three!
As wonderfully as Pearl did this week, Trixie
stole the show and earned her spot in this competition. Ru will likely be
looking for any week points in her armor, and if she slips up it could spell
the end. But Trixie is determined, Trixie is talented, and Trixie is ready to
take these girls on!