Hey, squirrel friends!
Mama Ru is back and she’s brought a fierce pack
of blood thirsty queens with her. You can check back here weekly for our recaps
and readjusted Queenly Rankings.
Now, let’s read these bitches for filth! Or, at
least assign a totally subjective ranking based on their performance in week
All Shade—Here’s the Recap:
Miss Fame went home last week, and the queens
are regretful as they walk in to the workroom. Almost all of them threw Fame
under the bus even though they all thought she was a lovely person. But, what’s done is done, and Pearl
vanquished her in the lip sync.
Suddenly, all the queens are gunning for Violet.
Both Katya and Ginger think that she has been skimming by on her runway looks
and hasn’t displayed any other talents. What?! I can’t understand that
perspective. Bitter much?
The next day, the top six (SIX! When did that
happen?) are met with a video message that suggests a dance challenge may be in
the works. Kennedy, I’m looking at you, gurl!
But first, mini-challenge! The queens are tasked
with crafting a cosmetic surgery makeover using clear plastic tape and starring
in a title sequence for “The Fake Housewives of RuPaul’s Drag Race!” This
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The completed video is a laugh riot. Honestly,
everyone stands out! Miss Pearl is working the face lift. “Some people call me
a slut,” she says in breathy deadpan. “I’m also an alcoholic.” Violet has her nose
taped up to the heavens, and she’s got the catchphrase to prove it: “When times
get tough, I just breathe through my nose!” And finally Katya, oh Katya.
“What’s the best part about being married to a sociopath? The constant threat
of danger keeps you so thin!”
And the winner is…Violet Chachki! That means
she gets to pair up the other girls for the maxi-challenge: #PrancingQueens!
They are tasked with dancing to mash-ups (Charleston Twerk, Country Robot,
Tango Vogue) while dressed in half man-half queen drag. I am seriously so
freaking excited! Another first in a season that refuses to be boring. Thanks,
The teams are broken down as follows:
Violet and Katya — Tango Vogue
Trixie and Ginger — Country Robot
Pearl and Kennedy — Charleston Twerk
As the teams rehearse, a few things become
– Ginger is a horrible dancer, as evidenced by her displeasure with
the challenge: “This week’s challenge makes me want to slap my mama!”
– Pearl cannot twerk at all,
but she at least seems in good spirits: “I’m gonna give them the energy they’ve
been asking for over and over!”
– Katya is cracking a little under the pressure and becoming rude,
particularly toward Violet who she is truly underestimating: “She’s sexy as
hell but she has to bring something else!”
They meet up with Carson Kressley and Dancing with the Stars coach Kym Johnson
for rehearsal. Kennedy shows them what’s what and does a flip straight off the
bat; even though she is clearly leaps and bounds beyond her teammate’s skill,
she seems prepared to help Pearl get it right. Go team!
Oh, and look, Katya spoke too soon: Violet can
vogue for days but our favorite Russian Doll is nervous. “Is that terror or
confusion on your face?” Carson asks her. Uh-oh.
Finally, Ginger and Trixie work on their country
robot (definitely the silliest combination). Trixie is tasked with lifting
Ginger off a hay bale which is kind of hilarious…and dangerous. “I’m worried
I’m going to look like a cross between Honey Boo Boo and Rosie O’Donnell,” she
laments. We’re worried, too, girl.
Things are looking a little rough for all these
teams. Will they turn it out? Will their half-and-half drag get them in the
spirit? We can only hope they pull through!
It’s time for the runway! I can’t wait to see
how these ladies pull of their, um, masculine side. Things get off to a great
start as Ru, entering in her typical full-length shimmery gown, rips it away at
the knees, revealing a far shorter ensemble—brava, lady! Guest judges this week
are comedienne Rachael Harris and (absurdly pregnant) actress Alyssa Milano.
Pearl and Violet steal the show on the runway.
Their looks are tailored, sleek, and beautiful, both opting for a glamorous,
fiery red feminine side and a dapper, facial-haired male side. It doesn’t hurt
that Pearl remains one of the sexiest contestants in the show’s history!
Kennedy and Katya were somewhere in the middle, their outfits just slightly
more ill-fitting. And Trixie and Ginger, while fine, definitely bring up the
rear with their country-inspired garb. It feels a little hokey and dull
compared with the others.
After they strut their stuff, the pairs perform
their dances live on a soundstage. Shockingly, they all do very well! Pearl and
Kennedy go first, and while it’s true that Pearl should never twerk ever again,
she is giving us energy like we’ve never seen before; Kennedy is technically
perfect, but actually lacks a lot of Pearl’s vivacity. Perhaps she was bored
with the easy routine? Ginger and Trixie do much
better than expected, and act the hell out of it, though the routine comes
across a bit silly and certainly lacks the poise that some of the other queens
brought. Finally, Violet and Katya bring
it! Their tango is sultry, their voguing is on-point, and Violet in
particular looks absolutely gorgeous. Bravo, gals!
The judges are pleased with Pearl (“We could
tell you were having fun!” shouts a joyous Michelle Visage) and Violet in
particular, though they also praise Kennedy and Katya. That makes the breakdown
The winning team is…Violet and Katya! I am
very pleased. Violet definitely carried them, and perhaps this will shut up
some of the naysayers who think she lacks talent in areas other than physical
beauty (though she shut them down in that category tonight, too).
Pearl and Kennedy are declared safe, which means
that Trixie and Ginger are this evening’s bottom two! Gasp! Trixie is somewhat
predictable, I suppose, and Ginger didn’t feel as though this was her week, but
they were actually really wonderful. This is gonna be a good lip sync, y’all.
It’s on, and these queens are tearing it up to
Robin S’s “Show Me Love.” Ginger is bringing us emotion by the boatload (I
think she’s missing her cute husband), while Trixie is opting for the comedy
route. While they are both doing an amazing job—it’s definitely the best lip
sync of the season—I think that Ginger Minj has this one in the bag.
Sure enough…Ginger Minj, shantay you stay!
Trixie Mattel, sashay away, part deux!
Turn to the next page for our latest rankings of the Queens…
Definitive Ranking of Ru’s Queens (Season 7 Style): For our purposes, the
eliminated queen will be ranked last; everyone else’s spot is fair game!
Trixie Mattel —
While she put up a good fight in the best lip
sync of the season, Trixie’s return to the show mostly just proved that she
couldn’t necessarily push through and wow the judges. Both her weeks back were
a little meh, and though I like her (and love her unique look), I can’t say I
am terribly disappointed to see her go.
Kennedy Davenport —
She was safe this week, and deservedly so, but I
was honestly just disappointed that she didn’t bring it in the dance challenge!
I agreed with some of the judges: she just seemed bored. Maybe it’s because it
was easy, but that attitude will never go over well on this show. This is the
first time she hasn’t impressed me.
Ginger Minj —
She may have been in the bottom, and her runway
look sucked, but she gave it in that dance challenge, hunty! She was beautiful,
far more poised than I ever expected she could be, and as funny as ever. There
was no way she was packing her bags, but she does seem to have faltered
Katya was just a little blah this week. She
showed a nasty side by hating so much on Violet, only to be pulled through to
the win by her. But she is still super talented, always makes me laugh, and
will likely go far.
Miss Pearl turned it out this week! She was very funny in the mini-challenge, her
charleston was spot-on (even if her twerk left a little to be desired), and her
runway look was absolutely gorgeous. The judges seemed high on her, too, and
this late in the competition, that can only mean good things.
Violet Chachki —
Violet pulled out a win not only for herself,
but also for Katya, and she totally deserved it. Her dancing was beautiful, and
she looked predictably fabulous on the main stage. Best of all, she had a
chance to once again display a combination of wit, intelligence, and inherent
aesthetic sensibility. She’s on the up and up, y’all!