Mark Duplass took to Twitter this afternoon to post a short essay entitled “The Greatest President of All,” a sharp jab at presidential hopeful Donald Trump, whose future reign Duplass imagines in precise fashion in his latest written work. The indie filmmaker doesn’t mince words, so we’ll let them speak for themselves.
Here’s the full text of Duplass’ essay (reprinted with his permission):
“Once upon a time there was a man named Donald Trump. In 2015 he started speaking loudly, in a way that rang of truth. It was refreshing to hear a politician speak in this unfiltered way, and some people really liked that about him. So much so that they decided to make him President of the United States of America.
He turned out to be true to his word. In 2016 he closed the borders, he saved quite a few people some taxes, he used his hardboiled business acumen to combat and further enrage our international enemies, and he spoke in that unfiltered way of his to all the women he ruled, inspiring a whole new generation of young boys to follow his lead.
But by 2017, people started to feel sad. There were hard images. Images of people pounding on that large golden border gate with five letters on it’s diamond-studded padlock. The tears of 7-year old girls stung by the harsh, condescending words of the Little Trump Urban Achievers Club. Their public schools riddled with economic issues and defunct arts programs.
By 2018, the sadness turned to anger. And the youngsters started to gather. They wondered if somehow the .1% might set aside some of their tax savings for the public schools. They theorized that maybe the dedicated, hard-working, desperate immigrants trying to cross the border so that they could provide for their families back home might be the very kinds of people that are good for a country. And the 8 year-old girls began to wonder if the boys who spoke to them like pieces of lower-grade steak were just insecure and cruel, and those girls stood up a little taller.
By 2019, these youngsters fully galvanized in order to get rid of the person that turned their country into a muddled swamp of its former self. And a few leaders began to rise up who spoke with the truth and candor of Trump, but also with compassion, intelligence, love, and respect for all the people in their country. And one of them rose all the way up to become not only the first female President, but also the first president under the age of 42. And she led a whole new generation of people, ruling from the heart instead of the pocketbook.
And all of this happened thanks to one man. The man who inspired this change.
So I want to thank every single one of you who voted for him back in 2015. For believing so much in love, tolerance, and equality for all, that you were willing to vote for a close-minded, bullying, elitist, male chauvinist dirtbag.”