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Chelsea Handler Announces New Show’s Premiere Date with Hilarious Self-Written Note

Chelsea Handler Announces New Show's Premiere Date with Hilarious Self-Written Note

Just how will a talk show on Netflix work? We’re about to find out. Chelsea Handler has announced, in a hilarious, self-written press release, that her new show will premiere on May 11 on the streaming service.

Ever since Samantha’ Bee’s “Full Frontal” premiered on TBS, we’ve been clamoring for even more women on the talk show circuit. While a streaming show isn’t technically “Late Night,” we’re just excited to have Handler back on TV. 

The show doesn’t have a title just yet, but you can actually help out with that. Handler has called for show suggestions on Twitter.

Handler’s full note — which touches on everything from Michelle Obama, to life advice — reads:

Dear You,
This is your new show schedule, so if you’re thinking about having a baby–DON’T. Your new show will be on every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday on Netflix. 30 minutes. 3x a week. No commercials.
-I know it’s hard for you, but waking up is a great way to start the day.
-You’ll be traveling around the world learning new things, all courtesy of Netflix. Treat this as an opportunity to get the college education you forgot to get.
-Sign up for Netflix.
-When interviewing respected public figures, ask yourself, “What would Byron Allen do?” Then do the opposite.
-Once an episode is up and streaming, it will be available until the end of time, so put a little more thought into what you say this time around.
-Never give up on your dream guest list:
3. Michelle Obama
2. The Pope
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s maid.
-You’ll be streaming in 190 countries, so remember to keep a deeper, more culturally sensitive perspective. Especially towards the Germans, they’re still touchy about everything they did. 
-You wanted a new show, you got it. You wanted to be on Netflix, you are. You wanted to spread your wings, now FLY BITCH.
P.S. It’s an election year. Good timing, girl.

[via Press Materials]

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