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Review: ‘Girls’ Season 5 Episode 5, ‘Queen For Two Days’: Cat Cafes and Female Getaways

Review: 'Girls' Season 5 Episode 5, 'Queen For Two Days': Cat Cafes and Female Getaways

LAST WEEK’S REVIEW: ‘Girls’ Season 5 Episode 4, ‘Old Loves’: Going Stir Crazy

Love Her or Hate Her

How about we say we’re looking for the proper cat café memes in order to properly express the way we feel about Hannah’s latest bout of selfishness? On the surface, she was doing her mom a solid by accompanying her to a “Spring Queening” retreat. But once there the typical character traits surfaced when she complained about everything, refused to give up her cell phone and was rude to pretty much everyone. As she was traipsing through the woods in her bikini, we half hoped some incredibly hungry insects would bite her and knock some sense into her. Ever since her father came out, Hannah has been more than willing to be there for him, but hasn’t shown the same respect towards her mum. Even calling her father while on the retreat was a clear sign of choosing sides, proving the sad state of televised mother-daughter relationships everywhere. Or at the very least, on this show.

Something To Cringe About

If one is deciding to go down the experimental road and cheat on her boyfriend with a woman, perhaps a steam room with an instructor isn’t the best way to kick off those sexual urges. There was nothing hot about Hannah’s hookup other than the physical temperature; instead we were left with pure awkwardness. To be fair, that’s kind of how we’d imagine that kind of thing going down in real life, so we can award some points there.

A Growth Spurt

We may have thought Japan looked good on Shoshanna, but as it turns out she was just masking all of her American pain under Hello Kitty stickers and a new job as the assistant manager at a cat café. Some of the best parts of the episode were of Shosh and Abigail (guest star Aidy Bryant) having a grand old time on the town, marveling at the fact that they felt as though they had been transported somewhere inside Katy Perry’s vagina. Bryant as Shoshanna’s boss is always a fun addition to an episode, thanks to her quippy one-liners and surefire delivery. So it was great to see her come out to Japan and attempt to talk some sense into Shoshanna, rather than having it be Scott doing the old hero-to-the-rescue routine. As much as we would love to see Jason Ritter again, Abigail was much better suited to lead Shoshanna into self-discovery territory than he would have been. The only loss is that “Yosh & Sosh Take the City” may now never happen, and that’s a TV show pitch we could have gotten behind. 

How Many Shots to Forget About…

Adam’s angry red sex-face and Jessa’s pleas for him to “pull out” (but not really)?

Rushing in Love

What happens when you take two addictive personalities and put them in a relationship? They fast-forward into meeting each other’s families and giving each other loans, naturally. The Jessa-Adam relationship seems to have progressed quite quickly ever since Jessa finally gave into it last week, as one would expect given both these characters’ histories. While Adam’s proclamations of love towards his new girlfriend as she was being put down by her sister were sweet and heartfelt, one has to wonder if Adam is still blinded by the idea of Jessa, or if he really does feel as though he knows her after spending so much time together in therapy. It’s easy to forget the pair were friends all though Adam’s other relationship with Mimi-Rose, meaning that Jessa isn’t exactly Adam’s rebound girl. They cultivated something stronger first, and perhaps the newfound sex element to their pairing is well deserved. Then again, this is “Girls,” where characters aren’t known for making logical decisions. Why should these two be the exception to the rule?

Adult Realizations

Poor Loreen. There was a time when realizing your husband is gay would have induced sympathy—especially if you were “past your prime.” Now it seems the only one who feels sorry for Loreen is herself. When faced with the bleak world of dating (via the stories from the Spring Queening ladies), Loreen quickly realized that what she has with Tad is still worth salvaging. Turns out there’s a lot more to companionship than she may have once given credit to. Besides, as Loreen so eloquently pointed out to Hannah in the car ride up, the sex has never been better. Really, other than messing up her daughter, what does she have to complain about at this point? Oh, that’s right. The sad state women find themselves in post-divorce.


On Adam sleeping with Jessa’s sister. Anyone? Bueller?

Guy of the Week

Sadly, with only Adam to represent the dudes in this week’s episode, he wins by default. Sure the aforementioned speech about why Jessa will make an excellent therapist was cute, but we’re also going to go ahead and give him props for having a large amount of money in his bank account from those commercials. Here we thought no one knew how to save anymore.

This Week in Friendship

If we had our wish, Shoshanna would return to the city and replace the other girls, with Abigail as her new best friend. How can we make this happen?  

Grade: C

“Girls” airs Sundays at 10pm on HBO. Next week: Marnie and Desi continue fighting and someone from the past resurfaces.

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