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Emmys 2016: Best Jimmy Kimmel Jokes Include Matt Damon Feud and Going to War With Maggie Smith

Kimmel hosted the 68th annual Emmy Awards on Sunday, September 18.

Jimmy Kimmel


Jimmy Kimmel returned for a second time as host of the Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, September 18, and he was sharper than ever for the big night.

He began the ceremony with a pre-taped sketch, which involved him trying to catch a ride to the show with James Corden, the “Modern Family” crew and Jeb Bush, among others. Upon finally making his way to the stage, he handed Jeffrey Tambor an Emmy, saying “that will save 22 minutes” from the night’s show. (Coincidently, Tambor did take home the prize for Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series). Kimmel then kicked off his hilarious monologue, which involved poking fun at the cast of “The People v. O.J. Simpson,” Mark Burnett, Maggie Smith and others.

READ MORE: Emmys 2016: Jimmy Kimmel’s Monologue Slams Trump and Touts Emmys Diversity Over Oscar

Overall, the host’s performance generated a ton of laughter from the audience and a slew of positive reviews on social media.

Here are some of our favorite jokes from the evening’s ceremony:

On Sarah Paulson’s guest: “I would also like to acknowledge the winner of tonight’s plus-one contest, Sarah Paulson, who played Marcia Clark and actually brought Marcia Clark with her tonight. Because everyone in L.A. knows, if you want to win, sit next to Marcia Clark.”

“Hi, Marcia. This must be very strange for you. Are you rooting for O.J. to win this time?”

On diversity: “Here in Hollywood, the only thing we love more than diversity is congratulating ourselves for our diversity…The Emmys are so diverse this year, the Oscars are now telling people we’re one of their closest friends. We’re not, by the way.”

On Donald Trump: “If it wasn’t for television, would Donald Trump be running for president? No, he would be at home right now quietly rubbing up against his wife, Malaria, while she pretends to be asleep.”

READ MORE: Emmys 2016: Henry Winkler Honors ‘Happy Days’ Creator Garry Marshall

To the creator of “The Apprentice”: “Mark Burnett, the man who brought us ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ Thanks to Mark Burnett, we don’t have to watch reality shows because we’re living in one…If [Trump] builds that wall, the first person we throw over is Mark Burnett.”

On Maggie Smith’s nominations: “[Maggie Smith] has the same reaction [to being nominated] the rest of us have when we get that 20 percent off Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons in the mail. Right in the garbage.”

On “Transparent”: “’Transparent’ was born a comedy, but it now identifies as a drama.”

After announcing that Bill Cosby was presenting: “Don’t worry, he’s not really here. I just wanted to see what you guys would do.”

READ MORE: ‘Game of Thrones’ Wins Emmy For Outstanding Drama Series

After Kimmel’s mom made PB&J sandwiches for the audience: “If you’re allergic to peanuts, then I guess this is goodbye because we can only afford one EpiPen … I just want America to see which of their favorite celebrities are the most annoying.”

After Courtney B. Vance wins Lead Actor in a Limited Series: “I have to believe that Johnnie Cochran is somewhere smiling up at us tonight.”

After Maggie Smith won her Emmy and was absent: “We’re not mailing this to her. Maggie, if you want this. it will be in the lost and found.”

And let’s not forget the great moment when Kimmel and Matt Damon took their longtime feud to the stage:

Check out the full list of winners by clicking here.

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