You’ve read our Oscar predictions and printed out your ballot, but have you acquainted yourself with the Onion’s picks? They’re expectedly bold (and hilarious), with characteristically clever takes on, for instance, Best Visual Effects nominee “Kong: Skull Island”: “The visual effects team worked tirelessly to make the landscapes and actors look tiny compared to the regular-sized gorilla playing Kong.”
They also give “Call Me by Your Name” a backhanded compliment due to its placement in the Adapted Screenplay category — “Of all the disgraceful bottom-feeders who took another’s work and passed it off as their own, James Ivory did the least shameful job” — and suggest that Sally Hawkins’ performance in “The Shape of Water” might be enough to overcome Frances McDormand’s in “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”: “A lead female character who never says a word is sure to appeal to many older Oscar voters.”
The boldest prediction is saved for last, however: “‘I Love You, Daddy’ (Best Picture): With a record 15 nominations, including Best Director, this magnum opus is the film to beat this year.” Yeah, probably not. Read all their predictions here.