The Onion Film Standard is back, and it’s never been more brutal. The subject of its latest review is “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again,” which host Peter K. Rosenthal describes as “a film which you can either choose to enjoy for the perfectly fine piece of entertainment it is, or live out the rest of your existence as a miserable killjoy who slogs through life recoiling at anything remotely joyful or upbeat in the world. Your choice.” Watch the full video review below.
He then briefly reverts back to typical movie-review mode, mentioning how the film is full of dance sequences “that you can either accept at face value or treat like they’re some kind of artistic plague representing everything wrong with existence. And that’s probably what you’ll do, right? Because this is who you’ve chosen to be.”
After all, this is just popcorn entertainment — which is fine. “Why?” Rosenthal asks. “Well, probably because Universal Studios knows that not every movie they make needs to be Schindler’s fucking List. It opens in July, for Chrissake. It’s not like they’re putting this out during Oscar season.”
Ultimately, this is less a review of the film itself and more a review of those who refuse to enjoy it. “This isn’t about ‘Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.’ It never was. This is about you. Somewhere along the way you changed. You were sapped of your childlike capacity for wonder and withered into the husk of a person you’ve become — a cold, dead-eyed automaton forever wagging its finger in the face of those who just want to sit in a cool, dark movie theater, throw back some popcorn, and escape the harshness of existence for two goddamn hours.”