Not into the Super Bowl? Watching the New England Patriots gives you hives? Have no fear. There’s plenty to watch on streaming TV, of course, but here’s how the cable networks are counterprogramming this year’s Big Game, and there’s a little something for everyone.
The “Hoarders” would love to watch the Super Bowl. But they can’t find their TV. (From 4 p.m. to 11 p.m. ET on A&E).
Super Bowl not action-packed enough for you? Watch the Survivors vs. the Zombies in The Walking Dead Bowl, starting at 9:30 a.m. and continuing all day.
Puppy Bowl has turned into quite the other major event on Super Bowl Sunday. Here’s how Animal Planet is handling this year:
“For the first time, Animal Planet’s PUPPY BOWL XIII will air simultaneously on both coasts when it premieres Sunday, February 5 with three hours of fuzzy faces, sloppy kisses and puppy penalties. “Tail”gating starts at 2:00 PM ET/11:00 AM PT with the PUPPY BOWL PRE-GAME SHOW, featuring aww-nalysis and cuddly commentary from sports correspondents including the infamous Rodt Weiler. At 3:00 p.m. ET/12:00 p.m. PT, PUPPY BOWL XIII kicks off at GEICO Stadium with a special appearance by the furriest weather forecaster in the world – Mr. Punxsutawney Phil. The famous groundhog and two of his inner circle officiate the coin toss to start the game.
“PUPPY BOWL XIII repeats all day and night for a total of 10 hours on game day.”
Starting at 3:30 ET, Captain Kirk, Spock and the rest of the Enterprise prosper against the Super Bowl.
Hallelujer! Two networks preach the gospel of Madea on Super Bowl Sunday: BET airs “A Madea Christmas” at 5:20 p.m. ET, and TNT has “Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail,” ” Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family,” and another run of ” Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail” starting at 6 p.m. ET.
Starting at 4:40 p.m. ET, Cartman and the gang can provide some laughs in case your team is losing (or you just don’t care).
In the not-so-distant future, starting at 10 a.m. ET, a “MST3K” favorites marathon will include “Last of the Wild Horses” (1948), “Robot Holocaust” (1987), “Eegah!” (1963), “Night of the Blood Beast” (1958), “Manos, Hands of Fate” (1966), and “Beginning of the End” (1957).
The Esquire Network is about to go off the air for good, but at least it’s going out with a bang. If you’re one of the few who still gets the channel, a “Parks and Recreation” marathon awaits.
Super Bowl? Ha! How about a nice game of Quidditch? Starting at 7 a.m. ET, Freeform airs “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1,” and “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2,” making for an all-day marathon.
FX has a double feature of “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” and “Peguins of Madagascar” ready to go at 6 p.m. ET.
Survey says! Between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. ET, catch four episodes of the game show.
Purrfect counterprogramming: Kitten Bowl starts at noon ET with an opener, followed by “Kitten Bowl IV: Playoff Games,” then “Kitten Bowl IV: Championship Game.” The whole extravaganza is then repeated at 3 p.m. and 6 p.m.
From 2:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. ET, that’s a lot of Tarek and Christina.
Super Bowl not gritty enough for you? MSNBC airs a marathon of its prison docuseries “Lockup” starting at 5 p.m. ET.
No lie: The Los Angeles Clams and the Buffalo Gills battle it out at DeepSea Field for the title of Fishbowl IV Champions.
Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do? Watch “Cops,” of course, all day, starting at 11 a.m.
Chung chung! After a day of “Naked Gun” movies, SundanceTV turns to a “Law & Order” marathon at 5 p.m. ET.
TruTV dares you to watch an all-day marathon of “Impractical Jokers.” Your friends will be talking about it tomorrow.
Sgt. Olivia Benson doesn’t have time for your Super Bowl nonsense. There are creepy perps to catch, all day on USA Network (starting at 10 a.m. ET).
Really, it’s Bret Michaels’ Super Bowl too. He can take a trip down memory lane, as VH1 spends the whole day airing a marathon of episodes from 2008’s “Rock of Love 2.” Every rose has its thorn, indeed.
Kids, did I ever tell you about the time that WGN America ran nothing but “How I Met Your Mother,” starting at 10 a.m. ET, opposite the Super Bowl?